Quick Awesomeness

Anybody tried Pandora? It's an internet radio dealie, where you put in a favorite song and they build a station around it. (Morning zoo and zap-zap-zap contest noises sold separately.) I threw it The Push Stars, as it's a grey autumn day and I needed some Bostonrock, and for the most part, they've pointed me in the right direction (Neil Finn, Portastatic, Bob Mould). Somehow, though, some Blessid Union of Souls got in there, so I have to perform an honor killing on my iMac. Otherwise, it's the funky-freshest.
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Think I can get them for my housewarming party? Perhaps the best quote I've read all day: "We're proud of being white, we just want to keep being white!" Hey, best of luck with that! And I hate to burst your bubble, but experts agree: being twins named Lamb and Lynx makes you a little white-chocolatey. Rock on, Gold Dust Pre-Women!
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I know Katrina's all retro now, but can we please re-live this? Download richard-simmons-hurricane.wmv Take a look, then come back and let's talk.

Okay. Now watch again, and look out for my favorite things:
1) The overall feeling that this happens in the Simmons household ALL THE TIME. This is clearly not the first time Lenny and his wife have had to hold Richard's hand on the sofa. And not just during hurricanes, either; I suspect that if a camera crew was there while they all watched the premiere of "The Ghost Whisperer," the resulting footage would be identical.
2) At around 1:09, Lenny calls Richard "sweetheart." I love both my brothers, but if either of them called me "sweetheart," I would shower like Karen Silkwood and never, EVER stop.
3) The way Richard makes himself cry with the beauty of his own gestures. When his face is buried in Lenny's armpit at around the 1-minute mark, and he's wailing like the offspring of Dakota Fanning and a sheepdog, it's not really the hurricane that's got him in such a state. It's the sheer, simple grace of his action: waking up his big fat brother in the middle of the night with a camera crew and making sure that everything he needs he ha-ha-haaaaas. (Which, by the way, he seems to, and if they can find the motherfucker's temporary address, surely they can verify that he's okay, and leave the boom guy out of it.)
4) Richard Simmons' brother is obese. And doesn't feel the need to put pants on when company's over.

God bless America, and let's pray there are Simmonses in Cancun.