Hot Hot Hot
I'm in NYC. If that thought makes you jealous, just get into an oven with a big bucket of bum urine, and smoke.
Last night marked the end of the Upright Citizens Brigade's 7th Annual Del Close Improv Marathon, to which hundreds of comics came from all over the country to creep me out a little. Honestly, I'm so tired of improv I'm not even going to make up things to say conversationally in real life for a couple of weeks.
Also, I need everyone's help with some slang issues. I'm getting a little sick of the overuse and subsequent cheapening of the word LITERALLY. As in, "I met this guy last night who was LITERALLY thirty feet tall," "Lance Armstrong is LITERALLY setting the cycling world on fire," or "I have been a fan of The Arcade Fire LITERALLY forever." No you didn't, no he isn't, and nobody really likes The Arcade Fire.
Instead, I want us all to start using FIGURATIVELY, and with the same gusto. As in, "I slept for FIGURATIVELY 25 hours last night," "It is so hot in New York I FIGURATIVELY turned into clam chowder," or "If one more person tells me about how they get The Arcade Fire like nobody else does, I will FIGURATIVELY implode from boredom."
Thank you for your quick attention to this matter. And while we're at it, "your" and "you're" are different words.
Dude, that is, like, seriously the funniest sh*t I've ever heard!
Posted by: Michael | July 25, 2005 07:14 PM
Your literally the funniest person since Grover Cleveland. -you're pal (figuratively)
Posted by: VP | July 25, 2005 07:15 PM
Dude, that "literally" business has been a pet peeve of mine since my college English professor used "literally" for emphasis.
You are my people.
Posted by: Kelly Sue | July 25, 2005 09:02 PM
I know the "your", "you're", literally" and "figuratively" thing is gonna get pretty played out in these comments, but here goes. Ah-hem...
Holmes, yeour literally and mean literally the angriest gay guy I've ever ever met in my entire life and my past lives. Figuratively and metaphorically and distinctively speaking ofkorse.
Welcome back.
Posted by: EJ | July 25, 2005 09:15 PM
I'm down with the "literally" protest and then we can move on to the use of "but seriously." I was talking to a girl at the bar the other night and when it was time to go she started a sentence with "but seriously" to which I responded "so you were bullshitting all this time?"
Posted by: Danny Rose | July 26, 2005 10:27 AM
David - I don't mean to 'Cross' you, but didn't another David do that rant first?
Posted by: Bilito | July 27, 2005 09:30 AM
Did he? Wasn't aware. I guess overrated minds think alike.
Posted by: Dave | July 27, 2005 07:40 PM
HA! That's what I like to see... the Blogger getting the funny last word! (oops.)
Posted by: VP | July 28, 2005 03:46 PM
Oh, so summer in NYC is the same as Orlando... sans urine. Good to know :)
Posted by: Jen | August 13, 2005 10:17 PM